This type of Zoomer lives on fun and on pasteurized cheese food. You will probably never see one, but you will hear them. That ringing you get in your ear sometimes? That’s a Flumeer breaking the sound barrier as they swoop by and steal your biscuits
The Beasties that many say are the least well known. Shy and adept at hearing through their eyes, Snootle Poots are very hard to surprise. They feed on the satisfaction of a job well done. Preferring habitats made by hobby gardeners, they easily b
The Cyc Chompers live in cities and do not like people. A lot. Whenever you trip on a sidewalk crack, or curb, that’s them telling you, ‘Go away!’ or ‘Get lost!’ They can be bribed with sour candy though. Put a few pieces in the sidewalk cracks or by
Oh, these Clumper Beasties are real cuddlers. Nah, I’m joking. They aren’t. Much like vultures feeding on carrion, but much less social, these Beasties mostly feed on lies. They will crawl onto a liar while they are asleep in the dark, feed on their
These Beasties like to party. They can be found in sooty fireplaces or backyard fire pits. But don’t listen to anything they say. They are prolific liars and will quickly relieve you of all your drugs and alcohol. They’ve been known to make their hom
These Beasties are fast. Really fast. You won’t see them coming. Living in parking lots, they feed on shopping disappointment. They also scour the pavement for lost earbuds. They will steal your earbuds from
What’s better than one mouth? Two! These Beasties are very fond of Turkish Delights. They evolved to have two mouths to eat more of them. They are also very ticklish and their laughs sound like a subway car hitting a dump truck. You can find them in
You know the way cat’s will look out a window and chatter at something? Yeah, that something is this Beastie. Scutes love to play with cats and often do tricks for them if they can’t come play. They live in storage sheds and eat just about anything.
The ambassador of Beasties, Fen Prickles were the first Beasties seen. Unfortunately, first spotted by Loch Ness Monster enthusiasts, their existence was speculated about for decades. Living in the fens of Scotland, Ireland, and Wales, and some parts
Red Maple Lurkins live in the same environment as Snurtles, but are not cousins. On the darker side of the Beastiary, these are to be avoided. Their undersides have suckers, and suckers are never good. Whenever you see a swirl of leaves in the air at
Red Maple Lurkins live in the same environment as Snurtles, but are not cousins. On the darker side of the Beastiary, these are to be avoided. Their undersides have suckers, and suckers are never good. Whenever you see a swirl of leaves in the air at
Lurms are the jokers of Beasties. They feed on laughter. Lurms are attracted by people laughing and suck the air from around your face—and makes you snort. One good snort will feed a Lurm for days. They don’t have a habitat that has been observed sp
Now, don’t be fooled. These Beasties do chase gnomes, but not to eat. They hide in the bushes and wait. Then, wham! with their tails right next to a berry-picking gnome and chase them around to feed on their tiny little screams. These Beasties frown
Willow Lurkins live in the same environment as Snurtles, but are not cousins. On the darker side of the Beastiary, these are to be avoided. Their undersides have suckers, and suckers are never good. Whenever you see a swirl of leaves in the air at su
Willow Lurkins live in the same environment as Snurtles, but are not cousins. On the darker side of the Beastiary, these are to be avoided. Their undersides have suckers, and suckers are never good. Whenever you see a swirl of leaves in the air at su
Bobbins steal your roommates’ snacks in the middle of the night. They have bobbed tails because they get caught in refrigerator doors a lot. They are also vegetarians and are one of the few Beasties that live solitary lives. Closet dwellers, they pre

The Beasties have always been here...

Interdimensional creatures, they dwell in geologically unstable lands, living off the sulfuric acid and volcanic gases of mudpots and fumaroles.

The increase of people into their habitat has introduced Beasties to another food source—brainwaves.

Different thoughts and emotions attract different Beasties. Has your mind ever drifted, or you’ve lost track of time?

That’s a Wicked Little Beastie feeding,

…not for long …

…just enough…

Come into the world of Wicked Little Beasties

Click on a Beastie’s photo in the portfolio to read more about their taxonomy, feeding preferences, and habitat.

I’ll be adding my Beastie Blog on July 20th where you can read weekly stories.